session 3

There’s a concept that was touted during the 1960’s called love, but not just love: unconditional love. I see the world today filled with idealist people searching for peace on Earth and love of all mankind, still saying the same things as those from the ‘60’s, but there’s a key difference between now and then that makes the world we live in today more ominous: people today only talk about unconditional love.
Unconditional love is very rare in today’s society of iPods, cell phones, and “what’s next?” thoughts. People are so focused on thinking about what is going to be happening in the next hour or day that they do not live in the present. This type of culture that Americans are developing is leading us into a world that won’t be able to comprehend this idea of unconditional love. There is only one certain place that we can draw an example of this love from anymore after living almost two decades in a society where divorce is more common than a lasting marriage, hate is easier than love, and violence is used as a communication tool. “What’s that? You can’t understand what I want from you? Okay…how about I blow up your neighborhood so that you’ll get it.” American culture has sacrificed the core idea that every person is a leader for the security that we are sheep and need to be led. Friedrich Nietzsche wrote that there is "no shepherd and one herd! Everybody wants the same, everybody is the same: whoever feels different goes voluntarily into a madhouse." This is the America that we have created for ourselves and are willingly allowing our children to grow up in.
Everyone would love to live their life without any fear of their loved ones coming to harm, but it feels like we’ve given up the hope that this world could find peace, so we try to put up walls to stop intruders from hurting us. We no longer believe in John Locke’s idea that people are generally good. He said “To love our neighbor as ourselves is such a truth for regulating human society, that by that alone one might determine all the cases in social morality.” We’ve completely lost sight of this and see the world as those who are not with us are obviously against us. Locke went on to say that “To prejudge other men's notions before we have looked into them is not to show their darkness but to put out our own eyes.” We no longer try and understand our neighbors. This understanding of another’s actions is a core component of unconditional love. The idea that I may not agree with you, but I understand you and respect how you feel. It is the ability to love someone so much that their flaws are not forgotten, but understood, respected, and then worked upon. People need to stop being led around by government, materials, media, advertising, the past, and the future. All that you can control and be certain of is the present. Materials are impermanent and are tools meant to be used, the media is biased and greedy, and government can do nothing but protect your rights as a citizen, which usually boils down to your material things.
Where have our values from our Greatest Generation gone? The generation who, up against a terrible and awesomely powerful foe, stood up and fought for everything they hold dear and paid for that with their lives. This is the last generation who knew exactly what unconditional love meant. It is the willingness to give everything even though it may take everything. This generation who left children, mothers, fathers, and loved ones to travel thousands of miles to unknown territories with the knowledge that they may not ever see those they hold dear again. Each person represented their entire country and they did not take that burden lightly. Of course they were scared and lost, but the stakes were too high to be stopped by those emotions. World War II showed the world that Americans capable of more than anyone else because of the love we share.
In today’s world we see our loved ones go to unknown territories to fight an enemy that is intangible and incomprehensible. We can’t understand why these people would go somewhere that they may not come back from. We say, “If that’s what you want, go for it. I’m just glad it’s not me.” We’ve lost ourselves and we’re fumbling in the dark, no longer even trying to get back that which we’ve lost, just fumbling ‘cause there’s nothing else to do when it gets dark. Our core values of life, liberty, happiness, and freedom have been traded for fear, control, and gain.
But this idea of unconditional love hasn’t just been lost in the global sense, it’s been lost in our day-to-day lives. How can a child understand love, especially unconditional love, when all the news talks of is terror, fear, and hate? How can they see that love is possible when their parents are divorced and married to new people who have been divorced? How can love be understood and believable when a family can be together for 5 years before the mother up and leaves for another woman she’s been seeing for 2 years? We our losing our faith in love itself. The media shows us a world that seems more terrible than it truly is. We see people isolating themselves from human contact with the internet, iPods, and cell phones, creating the illusion that they are connecting to people. This is not love. Love cannot be cultivated through screens and electrical wires. But I understand. I get it. Without face-to-face contact there’s less risk of hurting. You can feel close and connected to someone without the bothersome possibility that they may hurt you. It’s easier. Anonymity gives you security. But that is not love. You are sacrificing the ability to feel because there is a slight possibility that you may get hurt. This is why we’ve lost the ability for unconditional love. We don’t want love to hurt us, even though it is inevitable. Soren Kierkegarrd said that “Love is all, it gives all, and it takes all.” This is true, but when you give yourself over to it, without expecting anything, it is the greatest thing we have on this Earth.
The reason why love hurts is because it moves from something alive and breathing to something cold and dead. When love begins, in any form, it starts as something with expectancy. Expectation is the act or state of looking forward or anticipating. It’s that giddy feeling of not knowing what’s going to happen with this person. We feel that this type of love has to be special with a specific person. Why can’t it be with anyone? Why can’t a complete stranger make you curious and anticipated for what is going to happen today? Unconditional love. Love moves from alive to dead so easily. It is when you become expectant of that person that love dies. You expect them to hold a door open for you, or make you laugh, or make you forget about the troubles of the world. NO ONE can do that every minute of every day. No one is that consistent. If you can live every day with expectancy, don’t you see how you can grasp this idea of unconditional love?
I said before that there is only one certain place where we can find unconditional love in today’s society and that’s with our pets. A pet does nothing to make you do anything. They don’t scratch you to feed them or, bark at you take it for a walk, or hurt you to rub them. You do it out of love. They quietly and silently go about their day, laying about, playing with toys, and when it comes time to be fed, they patiently wait for you to come and feed them. They stand by the door and wait for you to open it for them because they cannot do it themselves. They gladly welcome your help and you give it freely, hoping for nothing in return. Then, when you’re not paying any attention to them, they will slowly come up to you and lay their head in your lap or lie down in it, saying with their actions, “Thank you for all that you do for me, I love you.” They don’t judge you, they don’t expect anything from you, and best of all, they ask nothing of you. If you don’t feed them, they find their own food. That may not make you happy, but if you shut yourself off from them, they will continue to live their life to the best of their ability. They don’t begrudge you not helping them, they don’t wallow in sorrow that you ignored them, they simply adjust themselves to what’s happening. Unconditional love is thinking completely about the other, leaving the ego (the “I”) behind and focusing on the “You.”
True love is possible in today’s society. It comes when the “I” is left for the “You.” A marriage, true friendship, and unconditional love is when both parties abandon their egos and think about the other. This is how each party can still be safe…each person thinks of the other so they don’t need to think of themselves. Everyday is a new challenge and that love needs to be cultivated and tended to, just like any plant. You must water it, clip off dead parts, remove bugs, and keep it in sunlight. Our Greatest Generation understood this and we need to as well. Kierkegaard also said “Never cease loving a person, and never give up hope for him, for even the prodigal son who had fallen most low, could still be saved; the bitterest enemy and also he who was your friend could again be your friend; love that has grown cold can kindle.” We need to show our children what love truly means and that this world can be filled with it, but we have to stop just talking about unconditional love; we have to start living it.